Rainy Day

This afternoon was rainy and dark so we first went out to watch the rain (ie get SUPER soaked) then we came in and changed into sweatpants and we are now watching movies. I think my kids are finally getting the hang of this whole relaxed rainy days thing. As soon as they are old enough for (and like) Hot Chocolate and Popcorn we will be all set.

Love to Read

I read that children will do as you do not as a you say, and I certainly agree. I have also read that if you want your children to be avid readers that they need to see you reading for pleasure, that they will get more from that then even you reading to them (though reading to them is also really good for them). Last night I was reading, Ryan went to go get a book, got himself up in the chair with me and we had a little quiet reading time. I have a feeling I will have kids that like to read as much as I do!

First Step!

Audrey took her first step today! It was amazing because 1) I had my camera out and I was taking pictures 2) Don and I were both watching her. She of course was all dressed up for the event- all the way down to the jewelry.

She stood up in the middle of the floor (which she has been doing a lot lately) and then decided that she wanted to give me the camera case she was holding so she stepped towards me to give it to me! I told Don yesterday that it would be any day... he didn't believe me, but Audrey wanted to prove her mom right.

Happy Birthday Ryan!

Since it was Ryan's birthday we let him pick what he wanted to do today. Don took off work so we had the whole day as a whole family.Ryan started out with some chocolate chip pancakes while watching Monsters Inc (a birthday present from a good friend).

Then we headed to the Children's Museum.

Ryan and I rode on the train... he was very excited....

...
Until is started to go pretty fast. Luckily after the initial shock he enjoyed himself.

Then of course there was digging in the dirt for dinosaurs and pirate treasure.
While dad and Audrey supervised.

And some sailing of boats.
Finished off by checking out the super cool butterflies.

His 3rd Birthday seems to have been a success! I can't wait to see what this year will bring. I hope it will be as interesting as this last year has been.

Weeds

The fun part about having a not so great lawn are the flowers! We have tried on our own to get grass to grow, but after at least 2 failed attempts our goal now is just to have some sort of greenness so when it's mowed it looks somewhat like grass. Here are some pictures of the kids enjoying the weeds.. uh I mean flowers.

The Difference 3 Years Make

Ryan's Birthday Party!

Ryan had a joint birthday party today with one of his best friends. The boys were born only 2 days apart so it's fun to celebrate together. Our goal was to have the party at a park but after setting everything up the downpour began and we were forced to pack up and move everything inside. It was crazy like all small children's parties are but still lots of fun. I think both boys and all of their friends had a really great time and all the parent are ready for a nap. I have decided joint parties are the way to go... only half the work falls on your shoulders so you can have 2x the fun. Next time though we will probably rent out a place so 1) there is more room and 2) someone else cleans up!

Audrey eating dad's pizza

Birthday Boys and their cupcakes

Party Planners Extraordinaire (and our little helpers)!

Questions

When you have a three year old (as of Monday) you get asked lots of questions, some of which are easy to answer and some not so much. Some easy to answer: "What are pancakes for?" "When is my birthday?" Harder ones include: "What is blue for?" and "What is Chicago for?" I expect the coming year will bring LOTS more questions- hopefully I will be able to come up with some answers.

The Sun is Shining

So after a few weeks of.... funk..... my black cloud feels like it's starting to dissipate and the sun is shining again. So in honor of positive fun times to come here are some pictures of Audrey showing of her new sun hat.

Harder then Expected

So when I had Ryan the toughness of parenting was pretty much on par with my expectations. I had been a preschool teacher, I knew what it was like to be around kids, sure it was different but I had assumed it would be harder to have my own kids. I had good days and bad days, but such is to be expected.

When I had Audrey everything changed. It is harder then any expectation I could have ever had. Right now I have one child teething (ie super clingy, whiny and needy- and up at 5:45) and one child that is fighting potty training like it is his full time job- and he is acting everyone of his three years of age (won't go to bed until close to 9pm). At the end of the day I am shocked that I survived the day. Yesterday my day ended with me locking myself in the closet with my computer eating Mac and Cheese and drinking a beer. I was in the closet because it is the one room where I can't hear whining. My saving graces were 1) I have a walk in closet, 2) My computer had wireless internet (thus great for online shopping 3) Last but certainly not least I have a husband who brought me the mac and cheese and beer (and it was the fancy kind of mac and cheese).

People keep telling me that this too shall pass. While I have trouble believing it, it is that hope that gets me through the day (That and my husband is wonderful). Tomorrow is a new day, the teeth could pop through, my son could decide that it is easier to go potty then peeing in his pants, Audrey might decide to sleep later, Ryan could decide he needs to go to bed earlier.... I hold out hope that something will change, until then I will keep getting up and doing it again.

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day! This morning I got up to blueberry pancakes and coffee in bed, I swear every morning should start that way. Then I got to stay there, in bed, that's right I just stayed put and read. After a day of playing with the kids and relaxing (those are mutually exclusive), we headed out to a Durham Bulls baseball game with my mom and brother. It was Audrey's first game and the first game Ryan gone to that he appreciated that there was actually a baseball game going on. Thank you to my mom who got us all tickets! A great day overall, I am so thankful for my family and the fact that I get to celebrate Mothers Day.

16 and Preggo

I have a confession.. it's kind of embarrassing so I don't often admit to it... but here goes... I watch the show 16 and pregnant. Ahhh... it feels good to get that of my chest. I know it's awful, but I can't help myself. It makes me appreciate my life in a whole knew way. You can see these children (they are 13 years older then Ryan...they are CHILDREN), they have no idea what being a parent is as they walk around with their big bellies. They talk about how their boyfriends are going to change and be responsible and they are going to be together forever, you can see how their parents know what chaos a baby is going to bring into their lives but the teen is sure that they will be different, that they will be able to handle it with grace and ease. Then the baby comes, the boyfriend goes MIA when he realizes how much work this whole parenting thing takes and that he will have to get along with his baby mama's parents since they are paying all the bills so they cut and run. The girl then flounders as she tries to juggle parenthood and school and work...

Here's the deal- I understand babies are cute and wonderful, they are, I mean I had two of them so I must like them right? But parenthood is the hardest thing I have ever done (and I went to and graduated from law school). You can go days without sleeping, it is more expensive then you realize until you are knee deep in it, and as you answer the question "why" for the 700th time in a day you realize how much patience it takes.

I have a husband who both financially and emotionally supports me. I don't have to worry about working or going to school- my entire focus can be on my children and I am still drained from it. I don't have to worry about someone being emotionally or physically abusive towards me (as many of the teen moms find themselves dealing with). My husband in fact gets up in the middle of the night numerous times a night to help with the kids (and neither of my kids are newborns- it doesn't stop just because they CAN sleep through the night). Even with all that support and wonderfulness coming from my husband it's hard and there are days where I feel like I can't do it.

Here is what I would say to a teen (though having been a teen myself I am pretty sure they wouldn't listen):

1) Babies don't make relationships better, they will make them worse. A baby will strain a relationship like nothing else I can think of. You have to deal with the other person when you are both mentally and physically exhausted. You will have financial stress. You will have different views of how to raise your children. My husband and I have been together for 10 years- I love him with all of my heart- but there are days where I am so tired I feel like I am going to keel over and I feel like we are living totally different lives as he walks in the door after a day of work.

2) Figure out how much it is going to cost to have a baby- before you have sex. The hospital bill alone will be in the thousands. Doctors bills (count on about an appointment a month the first year of life), diapers, formula, clothes, car seat, crib, stroller, food, pacifiers, toys etc. and that is just the basics- if you are going to put them in daycare tack at least a thousand a month onto that.

3) Here is something I am just learning now: Every year people will tell you that this year will be harder then the last. You have a newborn everyone says "oh you will never get any sleep it's so hard", your kid turns one "Now that he is so moble you can never take your eyes off of him, now you are in trouble", kid turns 2 "here come the terrible 2's where they really test their boundaries", kid turns 3 "now they think they are in charge you are in trouble, and they ask why for EVERYTHING"... and of course the end of every statement is "but you just wait until the teen years."

4) You always come second (or 3rd or 4th)... I ran out of shampoo 2 days ago, I just got some more today because I have been busy. I go to the store to try and buy myself something and I always come back with something my kids need instead. I can't go out when I want to go out, and even if I could, mornings come very early. My kids eat my food off my plate, they drink the water out of my glass, they pick where we go, what is on TV, when we get up in the morning, how many times we wake up in the middle of the night etc. It is not a bad thing but when you go from living alone (which I did in Chicago while in school before moving back when I was pregnant) it takes a little getting used to.

So overall parenthood is really hard- it takes something in you that you don't know you have until you are in the thick of it. It is wonderful and rewarding if you do it in the right way and are surrounded by people who are willingly wanting to and able to support you. You have to be strong and selfless which I am not entirely sure most teenagers are capable of. I would 100% recommend having kids to anyone who understands at least on some level what they are getting into. I love it, it fulfills me, it makes me feel important and like my life has meaning, but as I said before it is the hardest thing I have ever done. So I hope that when my kids are old enough to qualify for a show like 16 and pregnant they don't go there. I hope they wait until they are settled, prepared and supported. We all want what is best for our kids and it would break my heart to have them have to suffer like the children (and the babies of these children) suffer. Here's to hoping the choices I make now and in the future lead my kids to be confident and make good decisions in the future.

Potty Training

We are in the middle of potty training Ryan right now. It is one of the things I really worried about even when he was a baby. Apparently there was a reason for the worry... It is sort of like trying to get a baby to sleep at night, what works for some people doesn't work for others. We started the process about the time that Ryan turned 2 1/2, but just barely- it was more of an introduction. We were doing okay and then he decided he was done so we stopped. We started again about two months ago and now I think we are in the final stages of it.

There are a lot of moments in potty training where I think to myself "how can you possible get this part to work?" We went through a stage where we had to sit on the potty every 23 minutes or he would have an accident and I all I could think about was "How do we get beyond this?" then one day he woke up and could last 2+ hours. It just happened. The next question was "how do we leave the house?" I mean he is just learning to hold it- what if we are out and he has to go? But then when we started going out he was fine as long as he went right before we left. I feel like we have two more big stages left- him asking to go instead of me reminding him and him being able to last through naps. I ask myself "how do we get past this stage?" but I think I might just have to let it be and he will find his way. He has about 6 weeks to do it before he moves up to the next classroom at school where he needs to be self sufficient with the potty. I'm pretty sure we will be there by then.

After stalling out a few times I had the thought "what if we can't do this?" but I guess it's just another of those parenting things you have to get through. I mean the chances of him still being in diapers in kindergarten is essentially none. I'm sure as you have more children you get better at it- you are more efficient, you know what to say, what to do and when to do it. The thought of never buying diapers for him again is an appealing one.... like really appealing. I guess I just need to have some faith that this too shall pass and that he really can find his way.

Day at the Pool

One of the perks of living in the south is that our "pool season" is really long. Our neighborhood pool opened two weeks ago. I decided since it was just Audrey and I that we should go check it out.
Audrey wanted to like it... but she HATES cold water. In fact she hates anything that makes her cold... she is my summer baby.

She was mad at me in this picture because I kept trying to put her feet in.

So we came back home and pulled out the kiddie pool which I filled with warm/hot water... after convincing her it wasn't cold she loved it and we were able to get use out of her bathing suit after all.