What Expression Do You Wear?

Today I was thinking about the type of mom I am, why I am the way I am with my kids. There are of course thousands of influences that determine everything from what I feed them to the stories I tell and the songs I sing. I can pinpoint some of the events and others I have completely forgotten, remembering only the lesson I learned.

I remember one day I was watching Oprah. Yeah I can feel the judgment through the computer but whatever, I like her and I find some of her shows interesting. Anyway... she was talking to Toni Morrison, I don't even remember the theme of the show but I remember what she said:

What every child wants to know is, do your eyes light up when I enter the room?

I admit I had to search online for the exact quote (I'm not sure this is the exact quote because it has been paraphrased so many times) but the message has always stayed with me . I saw this well before I had kids but even then I felt it's importance.

It's easy as a mom (or a dad, or daycare provider or whatever else) to get frustrated, or wrapped up in unimportant stuff and forget that kids see everything. They see your anger, your love, your frustration and your patience. You have an opportunity to build up their self confidence or break it down. You might not be conscious of which you are doing but you are doing in none the less. Even if the emotion isn't directed at them, they probably think it is. There are also the times when you ignore your child all together- you are too busy looking at your phone or your computer to realize that they might feel overlooked.

I admit I am not perfect (shocking I know), there are times I get distracted by something stupid (Facebook) or I get frustrated because I am tired, or I am just not in the mood to be smiling and engaged. But because of that 6 minute clip on Oprah I actively think about things from my children's point of view every single day- I try to see myself through their eyes. I try to be better every day because I know how much of an influence I have on their lives at this point. They will grow up and go out into the world and it is my job to give them the skills to do that, it is my job to not only tell them how much I love and adore (which I do) but to show them every single day.

This is just one of the things that make me the mom I am.