Learn From Your Mistakes

I am a different parent to Audrey then I was to Ryan. I didn't mean for it to happen but it just did. I am more confident in my ability and I don't have nearly as much time. Here is what I learned through trial and error with Ryan:

1) The rules don't always apply... in fact they usually don't. For instance the pediatrics association now says they recommend you not swaddle your baby.... My doctor told me this, followed quickly with "I don't know who would follow that suggestion... it's probably worse for the baby to being constantly crying." Rules seem to change every day... You HAVE to do something, then a new study comes out and suddenly your child with die if you do it.... use your good judgment, it is more reliable.

2) You have to take care of yourself, especially when there is no time to do so. Wear real clothes (sweatpants, PJs and ratty t-shirts don't fall into the "real clothes" category). Brush your hair and your teeth, you might even try makeup if you feel so inclined. Take walks, even if you have to lug your children with you (you burn calories lugging anyway). You will be a better parent if you feel better and you will feel better if you look better.

3) You don't have to hold your baby ALL the time. You can't do everything at once and if you let the baby cry for 30 seconds nothing is going to happen. She won't need therapy just because she had to cry for a bit, you will do much more therapy worthy things to your child before they hit adulthood :)

4) Tinted windows aren't just for thugs... they are the best invention ever. Those stupid things you hang from your window never work... your baby will just get hit by sun in another direction.. and the sticky things fall down all the time.

5) If you don't like something that isn't absolutely necessary then don't do it. If you have activities you don't enjoy then don't do them, if you have friends that stress you out don't waste your time. My time is precious, I can't waste it on things that don't improve my life or my kids lives. On the flip side do things that make you happy... I like baking/ cooking and it's something I can do at home with Ryan. Needless to say I have made a lot of baked goods recently, the people at Don's office are going to start gaining weight!

6) Feed your baby when she is hungry... you don't have to stick to a perfect schedule. Your baby will let you know when she is hungry, barring some medical issue or weight gain issue let her be, especially true when she is sleeping. As they get older routines become easier, you don't have to force it now, it will happen on it's own if you let it.

7) Babies are babies for a very short time. With Ryan I felt like I might never sleep again, that I would never have a social life again and that I just had to hunker down for the long haul. The truth is it passes quickly so if things aren't going well, it won't last long, smile, suck it up and know that tomorrow it will all likely be different. If it stresses you out, you will likely stress them out and any problem will just be exacerbated.

There are tons of other things... but I have to go.... kitchen to be cleaned, children to be taken care of and banana crumb muffins to be baked!