insecurities

The development of babies is an interesting process, it seems that they can’t do something at all and then the next day it has all changed and they act as though they have always been able to do it. I understand that this is a unique and exciting time in life for Ryan, he is developing faster then he will at any other time in his life… it is also kind of stressful if you allow it be. The thing about being a first time parent that they seem to forget to tell you is you have no idea what you are doing or what to expect (even when you read all the books.. sometimes BECAUSE you read ALL the books). I am a go with the flow kinda girl (ok that isn’t always true but I’m trying to be that sort of girl). There is however this underlying worry that something is wrong, especially when you are witnessing other babies around the same age develop differently then your own. So when you see Little Billy lifting his head and looking around, or Little Suzy smile at her mom and you don’t see your own doing it, it flashes through your mind that something could be wrong. It is an irrational fear at this point, but it is there, and then your morning comes where you look over your babies crib and he/she gives you a huge smile… and then it is off to worry about the next thing.
On another note, I have been a little slack in my blog entries because I am trying to get my 20 page paper done (which is always interesting with a baby in my arms so I have to type with one finger) it is due Tuesday then I will have a little bit more freedom and a little less of a feeling of being totally overwhelmed.